The Dangerous Bride, the A Memoir of Love, Gods and Geography
What do you do when your husband claims to be madly in love with you, but doesn't desire you sexually? When your therapist is more interested in opening an online sex-toy shop with your husband than in saving your marriage? Do you try yet another counsellor, get divorced or settle for a sexless marriage? Lee Kofman, rebellious daughter of ultra-orthodox Jews, has always sought her own way. True to her Bohemian dream where love can coexist with sexual freedom, she decided to experiment with an open marriage a despite the fact that her previous non-monogamous relationship ended in disaster. Our cultural mores suggest that love without monogamy is impossible, but Lee hoped she could do better the second time round and embarked on a personal exploration to find out whether she could save her marriage while being non-monogamous in an ethical way. For several months she talked to swingers, polyamorists, cross-dressers, suburban families, artists and migrantsandmdash;in short, to anyone who has ever been involved in an unconventional relationship. Set during Lee's first years in Australia, it is also the story of migration, and an exploration of the eternal conflict between our desire for security, but also for foreign placesandmdash;in love and elsewhere. The Dangerous Bride tells the story of her quest. 'Kofman's book is flushed with her fearless lovely writing, her questing curious energy, the true full feeling of a truly fulfilling memoir. She writes of non-monogamy and infatuation as if they're what everyone should study, but the descriptions by a newcomer to Australia are another kind of love story here. Strikingly candid and candidly engrossing. I need Kofman to be my next new best friend.' KATE HOLDEN
Lee Kofman is the Israeli-Australian author of three novels (in Hebrew). Her short fiction, creative non-fiction and poetry in English has appeared in Australia, the US, UK, Scotland and Canada in Best Australian Stories, Best Australian Essays, Griffith Review, Heat, Westerly, Creative Nonfiction (US), Brand (UK) and Malahat Review (Canada) among many others. She is the recipient of an Australia Council grant, a Varuna Flagship Fellowship and several other writing residencies, as well as an ASA mentorship. She holds an MA in Creative Writing (the University of Melbourne) and has been teaching and mentoring many writers for the last ten years. Her popular blog about the writing process appears monthly on the Writers Victoria website.